Dear Amy: My parents are in their 50′s. They have been married for 30 years and have always seemed happy.

They are successful in their respective careers and have been wonderful parents to me and my younger siblings (I am the eldest of three).

My youngest sibling started college this fall, and my folks may have lost their bearings a little bit.

Anyway, during a recent routine phone call my mother told me that she and my dad are talking about “opening their marriage.”

I take it to mean that they will have flings with other people, while staying married.

First, I’m wondering why my mother told me this. Does she want me to try and stop them?

Honestly, I think this open marriage thing is a terrible idea, but … it’s their journey and their business.

I’m writing to you because I’d really like your perspective on this.

– Taken Aback

Dear Taken Aback: For some parents, adjusting to an empty nest doesn’t stop at installing a hot tub in the garage.

And this cohort of parents – who took care of teens and young adults through two or three years of the pandemic – might be testing their freedom in an acute way.

Your folks might have gone a little haywire. It’s also possible that they’ve had this idea for some time and are just starting to explore it now.

For me, a primary issue is to try to discern why your mother is telling you about this. Her disclosure falls into the “Whoa, TMI, Mom!” category.

When someone discloses something (or asks something) that simply lands like a thunderclap and strikes you silent, a good way to respond is to say, “Can you say why you are telling me this?”

Your mother might be looking for someone to stop them, but embroiling you in this intimate and personal decision is not the kind of “open” marriage she should be having. If she wants to discuss it, this is a topic she should raise with her siblings or friends – not her children.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.